Time flies when you are doing nothing but healing

 

I have been working in the various journals off and on for the past week. This is not all of the spreads. 4 ended up being ripped out and trashed. That act in and of itself was freeing. 

The girl directly above should have fish swimming in her hair and around her. I drew 3 prior to surgery, and have yet to complete them. No stress, no worries, I am working at a completely different pace.

There is a certain amount of depression following a major surgery, particularly surgery on the heart. I have some dark moments, but I don't dwell there. The dogs sense this, I swear they do, and they will come to be loved or just to be close. We are muddling through this together. It is what it is. (Thank you, Michelle Obama, for throwing his words back in his face. We love you!)

Linda

Stuff

Jake. Just too, too sexy

I am not a clean artist.

Gracie, my nurse

January was an interesting month. I really thought I would write almost everyday, but that didn't happen for several reasons. The main one being pain.  The first 3 days after surgery, I sailed through a little too easy and over did the exercise portion. I was then down for the count for about 4 days straight.

The one thought that kept going through my brain was how easy this had all been. Breast cancer. Cut it out, done and done. And then the depression hit. Like a fist slamming me to the ground and letting up just a bit, then pushing down again. It was exhausting, depleting, and at times overwhelming. This lasted about 2 weeks. One day it departed and has yet to return. I have spoken to other surgery patients, other breast cancer survivors, and we have all experienced the same thing. My conclusion is (and I am not in the medical field, so please take this just as my opinion), that the anesthesia alters your body chemistry temporarily. Please note that the depression was not immediately following surgery. It started about 8 days afterwards.

Living alone did not help the depression. Having two demanding dogs did. I had to keep moving for them, and I truly think that is what helped pull me out of it. Gracie was very clinging to me during this period, so she sensed what was up, I'm sure. Jake is Jake. He is a dude. What can I say?

I am learning to pace myself a bit better. Overall, I think that is a very good thing. I will not hesitate to say "no" and mean it from this point forward. If an idea doesn't appeal to me, it's gone. The mentality of "taking one for the team?" Yeah, bite me. Not happening. It is time for the team to either stand up for themselves, or find another fall guy.

I spend some time everyday in the studio, hence the photo of an inked and painted left hand. Mess is good. Mess releases mental stress. Feels good. The dogs and I are back to the dog park almost everyday that the weather allows. Walking with them in the fresh air has done wonders. I so wish my back and legs would allow a real walk on a leash, but I don't think I'm there yet. I may never be able to do that again, so I take what I can at the dog park.

Thanks for stopping by. Be good to yourself.
Linda